Updated: Aug 21, 2021
As a parent of four boys and a step daughter I have found my parenting journey certainly a rollercoaster at times! Friendships, relationships, careers, goals and values all change. Obstacles get in the way and we are challenged beyond our control at times. The biggest hurdle may be our own flexibility and knowing where we need to learn to be more flexible. What can help immensely is knowing what is important to us; our values, and what we need to work on, grow and re-affirm.
What I have learned is, that no matter what your circumstance in life, whether you are career person, or a mum of 5, if you know what your unique family values are, then you have a greater chance of a successful and happy life.
When you can embrace what works for your family and learn a great value system then you will reduce stress, have less arguments and better behaviours all round.
By highlighting your unique family values in a positive and creative way, displaying them in a prominent place in your home, this reinforces what matters most for your family. Reducing chaos and resistance and increasing calm and harmony in your home.
I often encourage the families I work with to write a list of the most important things to them, their family values, to help them stay strong and focus on the positive. Life can really be so amazing when we live by a strong value system, no matter what the challenges are!
Here are some of my family values. What are yours?
# 1 Friendships are important. Some friends will never understand my life and this is ok! I love them and appreciate them anyway.
# 2 Life goals change, goal posts move. This keeps life interesting. It's ok that plans change.
# 3 Careers change. Other things inspire me now. Making a difference for others is important to me.
# 4 When I feel stressed - this means I need more 'me time'! More self care! More time in nature or more time with hubby!
# 5 Don't sweat the small stuff. It's ALL small stuff! The house being a mess bothers me less!
# 6 Don't take anything personally! Nothing my child says or does is a personal attack at me.
# 7 Judge not! We are all different and on different paths. All we can do is be there for each other and offer a shoulder or a listening ear.
# 8 Be flexible - What my kid needs from me one day may be completely the opposite the next and thats ok, I can be flexible!
# 9 Empathy - Understanding that everyone is going through their own stuff. Be kind always.
# 10 Compassion - We care a lot in our family, compassion is important, being there for one another is imperative.
It can be incredibly helpful and healing to write a list of the most important things you value in your life. Make your list visual. Make it positive. Paint your list on a canvas. Write each value on post it notes and put them on your mirrors! Write them on a large chalk board or white board. Display your values so your family can see them and learn to live by them. Refer to them and affirm them often!
Bring about the positive change that you want in your life by making it visual and referring to it often. When you know what your values are, then you are more inspired to live by them.